my.Arfie

Karla

The First 10 Minutes: Coping with Separation Anxiety

Have you heard that rescued dogs are more prone to behavior problems? I hadn’t, so you can imagine my surprise when my new Corgi / Cattle Dog mix nearly destroyed my kitchen beyond repair when I left him home alone for the first time. The minute I pulled into my parking lot – a football field’s length from the apartment – I could hear his panicked barks. He was harried when I found him with wide, bloodshot eyes and a red nose (a look he now reproduces every time I take him to get his nails clipped). Even though I’d left him only a couple of hours, he’d ripped the baby gates from the wall, torn his wicker bed to sawdust, chewed up a dish towel and left deep claw marks in the lower cabinets.

As a young woman who worked full time and lived in an apartment with zero tolerance for barking, I had only one choice: doggy daycare. If I were to come clean, I’d admit that I was so thrilled at the thought of all-day play sessions for my energetic little guy that I’d have happily shelled out the $500 each month even if I weren’t up against this particular hurdle. But to the rest of the world (which seemed to think I was nuts for even considering it), I would ask, “what’s $500 when you’re facing eviction?”

Even though I absolutely worshiped the concept of doggy daycare, it wasn’t a permanent solution. After all, their hours were limited and I didn’t want to spend EVERY evening and weekend at home. I had to find a more permanent solution.
Dogs are operational learners, God love them for it. The trick to getting them to behave the way you’d like is to make it pay off for them. Fortunately for me, a negative reaction to being left alone is most likely to occur within the first 10 minutes. I knew if I could get Bentley to handle that, eight hours would be no problem.

Who knew the first 10 minutes would be SO difficult? It took me several months of training to build up to it. We started with 2 seconds, 5 seconds and then 10. We moved gradually to one minute, then two. We had setbacks, of course, and started over many times. But with Bentley on one side of the door, me on the other and lots of treats and praise for well-behaved responses, we eventually got there.

I also kept my arrivals and departures low-key. As much as I’d have loved to give him big kisses goodbye and scoop him up for hugs when I got home, I knew that if I made a big deal about our time apart, he would too. So as I got ready to leave, it was strictly business. I kept the same attitude when I arrived home.

The key to our success was making Bentley’s alone time special for him. Before I left for work in the morning, I set out Bentley’s favorite toys that are strictly reserved for the occasion. Bentley was and still is a very strong chewer and playing with toys unattended can be dangerous, so I was very careful to choose toys labeled as “indestructible” and test them out while I was home to supervise. The pièce de résistance was the Kong, which I loaded with a treat and threw to him as I shut the door behind me. Once caught on to the routine, Bentley actually looked forward to weekday mornings!

Nearly three years later, I’m happy to say the days of destroyed kitchens are a thing of the past and doggy daycare is now just an occasional indulgence. Once we got past that first 10 minutes, we were home free. I’ve stuck religiously to our routine and Bentley hasn’t let me down once.

Now if only I could get him to stop following me into the bathroom...

Tags: anxiety, barking, problem, separation

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lovemydog Comment by lovemydog on August 7, 2009 at 9:54am
Hi Karla, I am so happy you found a resolution for your baby. Please see my blog, I can use help with my dog. I'm pretty upset as we have been trying different methods for a month now and they seem to work at first (for 3 days) then all hell breaks loose again...
Irene Morrissette Comment by Irene Morrissette on April 13, 2009 at 7:14am
Thank you for sharing your story with everyone. The thought of leaving my home would make me cringe & I dreaded opening my door when I did return from my outings. I'm happy to say that Lacey is so much better & hardly touches anything anymore when we leave. We don't fuss on leaving or returning & if she does get her paws on something and destroys it, we don't react. That part is hard because she has ruined some things like the corner of my dresser, or the inside of the door jamb... ugh! BUT... now she's almost 2 and is a very, very good girl. I'm not sure how readers will react, but in addition to her indestructible toys (Kong, Tuff-Toys, etc), we give her beef soup bones. She's in heaven with those and it really satisfies her doggy instincts to chew & enjoy a special treat. We make sure the bone is big enough so she can't choke & she has a few hours of chewing ahead of her. She looks forward to it, and let me tell you, when we give her her bone, she forgets all about us & probably doesn't even notice when we leave, lol. Each dog & owner's dynamics will be different, I'm sure. I just hope that the end result is a happy dog & a happy owner.
Terry Comment by Terry on April 11, 2009 at 6:44pm
I have a rescue dog and I have the same problem!! Brakes my heart to leave her! I tried a dog crate, but my neighbors told me she barked for 3 hours non stop! I don't know what to do. She is very attached to me and I to her! I worry everytime I go somewhere and have people check up on her!
Karla Comment by Karla on April 9, 2009 at 6:40pm
Great advice, Linda! Thanks. Although it's not an option for everyone (for obvious reasons), I also think doggy daycare is a great way to occupy new rescues during the day, just until they realize that you ARE coming back every night and begin to feel like they have a home they can trust. I'm so glad to see the positive responses here - you all are truly some of the most dedicated doggy parents out there. I've had few experiences more trying than separation anxiety!
Linda A Parks Comment by Linda A Parks on April 9, 2009 at 6:33pm
also for those out there that are still having problems. do just as she has, provide indestructible pleasure toys to interact with , and put a few drops of clove oil on surfaces that you do not want chewed, safe (as it is used in many institutions today for toothaches) and can be mixed with water to spray on large surfaces. can be found in most drug stores or health food stores.
Colleen Comment by Colleen on April 8, 2009 at 5:34pm
good for you for giving him the chance to learn instead of just giving up on him and sending him off to the humane society. Unfortunatley to many people do not understand what is REALLY involved in having a pet. I praise you for your loyalty and patients to him. You are a true animal lover.
Taylor Thorp Comment by Taylor Thorp on April 8, 2009 at 10:56am
I loved your story. I have a rescued dog myself. While Behnen wasn't quite as harried when I left him, he did have a few quircks in the beginning. He detroyed his first bed - slowly at first, as if to say, "I'm just taking a nibble or two, don't worry" and then one day, "I couldn't help myself, you left me!" His other traits were gnawing at the corners of the doors, and chewing the doggy-gate to bits, literally. But eventually he got over it - maybe he realized that I wasn't going to abandon him, and that I would always come back. But I had heard of the method that you're talking about, and it's nice to hear firsthand that it worked. I will have to keep that in mind for the next addition to my family. I do have a questions though: Behnen is a big-time chewer, also. If I let him, anything that he can chew apart, most of it he'll eat, too. Silly dog. Even some of the more hard and sturdy pieces he's managed to chew off bits. You mentioned the Kong, and I've heard of that... Has Bentley ever gotten off peices of that? Or is there a secret to it? I know that chewing is an important part of a dog's behavior, that they need something to satisfy that. So, what sort of "indestructible" items are aout there, that really ARE indestructible? Well, thanks for the good read! Take care.
DoggyMommy Comment by DoggyMommy on April 7, 2009 at 3:16pm
I had the same problem. When Liebchen was adopted (rescued), she had this same separation anxiety. I used to come home to a vandalized home. She is small but mighty. She actually chewed up and tore up an entire bed, mattress and box spring. I tried a crate, which she hated and mysteriously escaped it one day. The gate was still locked and she was on the outside of the crate. She is twelve now and doesn't destroy any longer, except an occasional greeting card.
Kirby Moore Comment by Kirby Moore on April 7, 2009 at 12:21pm
Thanks so much for your story, we are having a terrible time right now. He's being crate trained and he's great as long as I'm home (I work from home) but if I have to leave, I come home to a hysterical puppy (almost 5 months old), crying and screaming in full blown panic mode. It's good to know that with time we can get past it, I was considering medication for both of us :-)
Groovy Gamer Comment by Groovy Gamer on April 7, 2009 at 11:48am
Been there on that one. Glad to read that it all ended up working out. Talk about frustrating!?

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